As a mom, you never think that your children will actually grow up and move out, but believe me it happens. I still remember my mom’s face when I announced that I was moving out. Well, actually I hinted around at the idea but my parents didn’t take me serious. So, when the time arrived for me to move into the college dorms, they were in complete shock.
Fast forward, to my life. Having 5 children is a wonderful adventure. Honestly, there are times I wish I had more children. Deep down inside I may have thought that the more children I had, the easier it would be when they grew up and moved out on their own. Well, reality is that it doesn’t make it any easier. In less than 10 days my oldest child who is now 18 and in college will be moving out of her own. She will not be moving into the dorms as I did, many years ago, she is actually moving into her very first apartment.
As I watched her pack some of her items today, reality set in. Sure I have prepared myself for this moment, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I now, can understand the feelings and emotions that my mom felt when I moved out. The questions that go through my head are those of fear and uncertainty. Will she survive out on her own? Of course she will. Will she suffer? We all know how hard it is to watch our children suffer, but also know that it is necessary for the growth process to continue.
Am I scared? Heck yeah, I’m scared. But more importantly, I am proud. Proud that my child feels the need to move out and begin building her independence. Isn’t that what we all want for our children? Then why is it so painful? One thing I know for sure is that I will not let my child see me sad or crying. Instead I will support her choice of moving out and help her with emotional support.
Parenting is not an easy job but definitely a rewarding one. This is one of those moments when it is bittersweet, but also one we can not avoid. I will soon only have 4 children at home and before long my second oldest will be making the decision to move out. Hopefully I will be stronger then, but I can’t make any promises.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I dread this day. Every day seems to go faster. It seems they were just born and time is just flying. I applaud you for looking at it the way you are. I hope I can be the same way when the times comes.
Hi Dalia,
Thanks for stopping by my site. It is very difficult but I realize that this is just another stage we must go through as moms
Hmmm, I was hoping the day would never come but having a 15 yr old I know it is not far off.
Thank you for doing such a great job of describing it and a great way to handle it.
While I still hope it is later rather than sooner, I know I will remember the lessons you shared here.
Hi Edie! Thanks for stopping by my site. These are times we as moms must prepare ourselves for, no matter how difficult:)
I just registered our oldest for highschool and I’m a mess…can’t fast forward to that day but hope I’ll be as composed as you are =)
Molly Gold´s last blog ..GO MOM! DIY Planner Menu Minder is Your Solution!
Hi Molly,
Not sure how composed I am, but of course I will never let her see me cry:)
Oh I am crying reading the responses! I share a Small Group on Sundays with a bunch of other parents of teenagers and about 5 of us have 1 graduating this year. After Spring Break, which starts next week, we have 8 weeks left of school, then Firstborn will be busy with 8 more weeks of summer baseball before I move him to college. I am so proud that he chose the toughest baseball program of all his offers, and that he will be just a little over an hour away, but I certainly remember his first day of Kindergarten like it was yesterday.
I also comfort myself by thinking of the three kids that will be at home and ESPECIALLY comfort myself with the fact that I will once again have his bathroom clean enough that I can actually bathe in that tub!
Thanks for sharing, Dr. Daisy!
Gina parris´s last blog ..The Only Thing Worse Than Failure
Hi Gina! Thanks for stopping by. This is a post that was very heavy on my heart and felt the need to share. The bad part about having kiddos all close in age is that i will experience this bittersweet moment many times over…my next one will be 18 in less than 2 years…not sure I can handle this. Although I know that I will, because that is my role as a mom:)
Sounds like you’re doing a fabulous job! You’ve raised an independent, confident woman who’s ready to go out into the world and make her mark. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It reminds us all how parenting is the hardest and most important job in the whole world. But pays the highest rewards. I’ll be thinking of you.
Love & best wishes
Heather x
Hi Heather,
All I can say is that I’m trying and only time will tell:) Thanks for visiting my site:)
Wow! You are such a strong woman and I’m sure have many reasons to be proud of your daughter- but I know I will be a hot mess when my boys are ready for this stage (which is coming soon)…Glad to have you as someone to look up to and watch as someone who has been there!
Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog ..Fleeting Moments
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for your comment:) Yes, although it is difficult, I am trying to remain strong.
All we want for our children is to be ready for independence and now she is:)
From the moment you play peek a boo with your children you are preparing them for this moment of independence. My son is 17 and we have been looking around Universities with him last week. It’s all about transition and handling change positively but it’s not easy. I work with lots of parents finding the empty nest syndrome painful and that’s why it’s important to always keep your own life going, your interests, your hobbies and your relationships with friends, partners and family. This transition can also be a wonderfully fulfilling time too as we enter a new phase in our own lives – and try new things. It’s also about having a new adult relationship with our kids which sounds fun too.
As always I believe it is all about OUR mindset and attitude that will determine how we see it and more importantly how our children see us. It can be a time of growth all round.
Sue Atkins´s last blog ..Topic of the month – New Year, New Decade
Hi Sue,
Thanks for visiting my site and for your thoughts. I completely agree that we are preparing our children from day 1:) Although it may be difficult to see them leave, we are so proud too:) And yes, a new stage is about to begin:)
What a lovely post – that brought up such mixed emotions for me, and my twins are only just coming up 9! I think you’re taking such a great approach, and I definitely think of that quote – if you love someone set them free.
You sound like you have such a loving close family, I’m sure they will always want to come back often to reconnect.
I wonder sometimes too, how does the time go so fast. My biggest challenge I think will be that because my girls are twins, they will likely leave home at the same time – a double whammy. Gulp – pass the tissues!
It helps to know that all us Moms are in the same boat, and there to support each other
Tanya
Hi Tanya!
She’s already told me that she will be calling every night for at least a week:)
Thanks for stopping by my site and sharing your thoughts.
Yes, it is definitely bittersweet to see our children grow and then to support their decisions to move out and begin another stage of their lives. I’m ready and I’m also sure she will be coming over a lot!
I am right there with you. Our oldest got married this past weekend. She chose to live at home until then. Although we knew it was coming for sure the past 2 years, it is still very hard. We to have 5 children, girls that is. The next one is 20 and will be doing the same thing in the next 1-2 years.
I feel the same way you do about the more you have the easier it is to let them go. After this weekend and the feelings I am experiencing, i only hope I am still sane after the last one leaves. Thankfully that will be a
while yet-she is only 5.
I will be praying for you.
Beth
Thanks Beth:)
It’s not easy but one we must all encounter as parents. She knows she is always welcomed back home but it’s time for her to leave the nest and start a new phase of her life..:)
I can feel your pain mama! My oldest daughter has been out on her own now for a little over two years. Believe it or not, I actually spent more quality time with her once she moved out. She came over for dinner, and often times during her lunch hour from work. She didn’t have Internet in her apartment so she would come by and use my computer. I actually got to spend more time with her.
Now don’t get me wrong, it broke my heart when she went out on her own. I worried about things like, did she have enough food in her fridge, does she get lonely at night, is she safe, etc. Fortunately, she lives on the 3rd floor in a townhouse community with a guard gate, so that alleviated some of my fears.
Just to remind her that she’s still my #1 daughter, I buy Walmart gift cards and send it to her in the mail. That way I’m not just handing over cash, but giving her something that she can really use to buy food, laundry detergent, etc.
You’ve done a fantastic job in raising your daughter, now it’s her time to spread her wings and live her dreams. Of course, us moms are always in the background with safety net ready to catch them at any given moment.
Great topic! Thanks for sharing.
Kelli Claypool´s last blog ..Article Marketing is a Strategy that Provides Tremendous Returns
Hi Kelly,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. As difficult as it may be, this is something we as parents are preparing ourselves for from the moment they take their first steps. I will be strong and never let them see me sweat, lol