I’m guilty!
My Chronicles — By Dr. Mommy on November 22, 2009 at 1:58 pmYes, you read the title correctly. But what am I guilty of? I am guilty of the very thing that I am trying to help other moms with. My mission is to help moms. I am not professing that I am one without faults. That can’t be farther from the truth. You see, I am guilty too.
I have been one that was enticed into thinking that my children needed to be involved in every extra-curricular activity possible. One part of me convinced me to believe that I wanted for them what I never had, but in reality it was a competition. Does that sound harsh? It does, and it was. For 14 long years, I have traveled with my children to numerous amount of recitals, competitions, gym meets, Tae Kwan Do graduations, and tournaments galore. All along I thought I was doing it for my children, until I realized that it wasn’t for them.
When given the opportunity to stop every activity and just be allowed to be a kid, or a teen, they made that choice. Do they miss the socialization? Perhaps a bit, but they are enjoying their time as children. They love to sleep in late as well as stay up late. They love to play for hours on end or be on the telephone for hours. Remember those days?? No more running from activity to activity. No more stressing before a tournament or competition. No more endless nights of rehearsal for it to be done in 2 hours.
Instead we have long conversations, we watch family programs together, we eat at the dinner table as a family, we enjoy playing games and simply being a family. Let me tell you it has been a major revelation in our home. And at first my children were unsure of what to do with their time, although they felt more at ease. All they ever knew was the rush, rush of going to different activities. Am I guilty? Yes! Have I learned a lesson? Absolutely!!
Our children grow so very fast! Although we have made some wonderful memories from all the activities and we don’t regret that time, we are much happier now and so are my children.
Do I tell my story to guilt you? Absolutely not!
Why do I share my story? Because I want you to know that I am not perfect but I can certainly relate to many of you. I’ve also learned to make every moment a memorable one for my children. If they choose to be involved in a certain activity we will explore it then, but I will not force any activity on them ever again.
This is why my mission of Going Retro is one of great importance. What is going retro? It is simply taking the good from the past, the 1950’s and combining it with the 21st century. Practical parenting with a twist.
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8 Comments
This is such a great post and I was something that we thought about before we started homeschooling our twins. We actually talked about how “society” tends to dictate that children have to be involved in all these different activities. We actually asked our children if they wanted to do specific extracurricular activies and went with those instead of putting them in sooo many that they did not necessarily enjoy any of them. We believe in just like you, letting the kids be kids, sleeping in, playing while ensuring they get a well-rounded education. Thank you for sharing your story.
Dr. Taffy´s last blog ..Money Issues during Marriage becoming a Norm
Thanks so much for commenting…I totally understand and love the fact that we do home school and can spend quality time with our children before they move on, because believe me it happens very quickly…
I just have to say that this has been my prayer for you and your family. God had already told me to pray for you. You and yours family are very dear to me, even if we have yet to see each other.
I am so glad that you have been set free and have taken the time to share it with your readers. Your transparency will help so many others
Love you very very much!
LaTara Ham-Ying´s last blog ..Blog Tour: Marriage 101
We aren’t doing any extras anymore either. Baseball was stressful with the practices and the getting home so late at night and then rushing off to school in the morning.
Karate was fun until they got up to orange belt and there were more tests, more tournaments, more more more it was too much and my son said, “Mom, this isn’t fun anymore. I don’t want to go.” I could see him stressing over every move and every test and he wasn’t enjoying the thing he once loved so dearly.
They’d much rather play football in the yard after school then rush off to the practice field, and like you said just enjoying their time how they want to enjoy it…. which seems to change daily. They like not being tied down to one thing.
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Thanks Latara for your prayers…I can definitely feel them:)
And yes Loretta, it feels good to let go. Children if given the opportunity would much rather play outside with friends and not pressured into other activities. Less stressful for them as well as less stressful for us and it’s cheaper too:)
Thanks for commenting:)
It’s great that you are taking time to just chill and spend time with the kids. I too feel that we shouldn’t be pressured to put our kids in lots of activities and get stressed out by them but to enjoy our kids moment by moment as they grow.
Thanks for your comment, Dominique
It is so true..we do need to make time to spend with our children…I fell prey to the pressures of society and finally woke up and realized that what my children needed was just time to be with us and time for them to be kids…it has been a refreshing break:)
Dr.Mommy,
It is easy to get caught up in day to day activities. I was guilty of doing that until my son was diagnosed with T-call Lymphblastic lymphmona which changed our world as a family.Now life is lived one day at a time and it rotates around my son’s blood counts. God has been good and we give him the glory for each victory. Gloria