Just The Thought….

All the ‘Back to School’ talks and specials I see everywhere has triggered a thought…my oldest is a Senior this year!! Perhaps that is why I have been having difficulties with her, hmmm….

Although she puts on a great act of being tough and strong, I believe deep down she is a frightened child. I know this because when I was a High School Senior, many, many years ago, I felt the same way. My fear of growing up and moving away to college was well justified, but I closed up rather than lashing out like she does. Apparently everyone handles fear differently.

But all this talk on Twitter about preparing for college with their children, brought me back to reality. My oldest will be going to college soon. She has chosen to attend a Community College for the first two years, which I believe is a wise choice. I have witnessed first hand, the many young adults who go away to college, only to be back after one year and not wanting to return. Since my oldest has been home schooled like all my other children, I believe staying in a smaller environment is a great choice. Her intentions are to attend a larger more focused school after her 2 years and this will prepare her for that move.

Now, I must be honest. I am frightened for her and for myself. I trust that I have prepared her to handle being independent. She will be attending college and living on her own soon and that just brings tears to my eyes. I now, know how my mom felt when I moved away to college. I guess we want or hope that our children will remain with us until they get married, but reality is that they will leave much sooner. My educated mind knows the truth, but my emotional side always takes control.

The hardest part is knowing that after my oldest leaves, my second child will be close behind. I guess having children close in age has its advantages and disadvantages. One of the disadvantages is that they grow up and leave to college together. While I am here missing them already, my husband is out with his calculator punching in numbers and realizing that it will cost us more when they move out then if they stayed home. Perhaps, he is rethinking the entire notion of them moving out, I doubt it though. He has had a count down going since they turned into teenagers. But I just think that is just his way of coping with that fact that they will grow up and move out sooner than we can imagine and since he’s a man, doesn’t want to show his true feelings. Wow, I just sounded like Dr. Phil!! *wink*

All in all, I will cherish the time I have with my children. I will cherish both the good and the bad, since that is all part of being a mom.

The Chronicles continue….

Tags: back to school, college years, growing up, independent, teens